Kenneth
So fine. I will be Mrs. Donaghy and I'm going to say "Listen to me, Jack. You don't want people to pity you, well they should. Because you're pitiful! You think you're all alone? Boo hoo, why can't my life be the way it was? Well it can't! And you're not alone! You have a daughter you should be spending time with instead of being weird to Kenneth. He may be a chinless piece of human garbage but he will NEVER fill the void that I left behind. Oh look, here he comes now. He's going to ask me to come to his birthday party." [doing extremely goofy/insulting imitation of himself] Hi Mrs. Donaghy! You wanna come on down my birthday party? "No. I can't. But I know JACK can."