And now an unscheduled reading that I think is appropriate for this lovely, romantic occasion. ''But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground.'' Sorry. ''Then, Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son's foreskin.'' Oh come on, Bible. Help a lady out. ''For he has sold us, and he has indeed devoured our money.''