The Aftermath
[ Season 1 | Episode: 2 ] - Episode. Explained.
* Quotes are grouped by Scene
Preparing for Tracy
|
|
|
|
Liz:
|
I thought Tracy was getting here at noon
|
|
Jack:
|
Movie stars move at their own pace, Liz. We have to accommodate them.
|
|
Liz:
|
Yeah, well, a lot of people are still upset about Tracy joining the show.
|
|
Jack:
|
That’s not my problem, I have a lot of things on my plate. You hear about that chemical factory explosion outside Colorado Springs?
|
|
Liz:
|
|
|
Jack:
|
|
|
Liz:
|
I just think when it comes to this whole Tracy thing, it's best to tread lightly.
|
|
Jack:
|
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! It's just us. Lemon, to tread lightly is your job. My job is to keep Tracy Jordan happy. Girls, girls, girls, let's save it for Mr. Jordan.
|
Tracy Meets The Writers
|
|
|
|
Liz:
|
Tracy, this is our producer, Pete.
|
|
Tracy:
|
Hey, you smoke weed, right Pete?
|
|
Pete:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Me neither. Me and you Pete, me and you.
|
|
Jack:
|
|
|
Pete:
|
Is it? Oh. Good. Good to see you too, cause that means I’m not fired anymore. I wasn’t going to mention that. But I did, and now I’m talking about it.
|
|
Jack:
|
|
|
Jack:
|
Hey, everybody. Tracy Jordan's here.
|
|
Tracy:
|
Don’t just sit there, come here and give me some sugar.
|
|
Cerie:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Well if you ever want to piss off your parents, you come see me.
|
|
Jack:
|
Right this way Tracy. This is Tim Grandy, he’s from Bowie, Maryland. Rachel Bey, she just got engaged. Josh Girard, he got a 760 on his SATs, graduated form SUNY Cortland. Frank Rossitano has every copy of Black Tail Magazine ever published. J.D. Lutz, thyroid problem. James Spurlock, we call him Toofer, 'cause with him you get a two for one, he’s a black guy and a Harvard guy. And of course you know Lemon.
|
|
Liz:
|
|
|
Jack:
|
|
|
Jack:
|
Jared from set design. Wally--cuecards. Rupert Murdoch. Melinda Gates. Ziggy from the cartoon "Ziggy". Anthony Pellicano. Heidi Klum. The guy that sleeps with Heidi Klum.
|
|
Jack:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Let me just say, I’m excited to be here. It’s an honor for you to meet me. I’ve got a lot of characters I’m ready to bust out. I got a character named Biscuit. Write that up. Got another character named Rolando, who’s a two foot tall Spanish Hustler. Glasses, I want you to write that one. Got another character named Ching Chong, who loves to play ping pong. I just made that up right now. 'Cause that's how I flow.Now, I’m up for anything.
|
|
Josh:
|
Well I thought me and you could play Seinfeld and Bill Cosby.
|
|
Tracy:
|
|
TGS?
|
|
|
|
Jack:
|
Glaub mir. Dieser Advantium Microwave sind beste.
|
|
Liz:
|
How could you change the name of my show without telling me.
|
|
Jack:
|
Detlev, I'm gonna have to call you back. Ja. Wunderbar. Plow chops.
|
|
Liz:
|
The Girlie Show is now "TGS with Tracy Jordan"?
|
|
Jack:
|
It tested very well with the focus groups.
|
|
Jack:
|
If you say you like it you can have some pizza. You people like pizza?
|
|
Liz:
|
You need to tell Jenna this whole thing was your idea and I didn't know anything about it and that she should be mad at you, not me.
|
|
Jack:
|
Oh sure, then we can sit around and braid each others hair until we get our periods at the same time. Lemon, you're a supervisor. These people are not your friends.
|
|
Liz:
|
Yes, they are my friends.
|
|
Jack:
|
No. They're your employees.
|
|
Liz:
|
Well, one of my employees is extremely mad at me. Will you talk to her?
|
|
Jack:
|
No, because then you're not going to learn anything. You have to manage these people, Lemon. It’s your show. You have the tools. Now get out there and build the house, add on a pool, and throw yourself in the deep end.
|
|
Liz:
|
|
|
Jack:
|
Then I’ll do what my father did when I was two. Lure you to the edge of the pool with a puppy and push you in.
|
|
Liz:
|
Yikes. Fine. I'll figure it out.
|
|
Jack:
|
We're going to be shooting some promos in an hour underneath the new sign. So have your people... write some stuff.
|
TGS Promo
|
|
|
|
Liz:
|
A little to your right, Tracy.
|
|
Man:
|
Okay. Here we go. In 3, 2....
|
|
Tracy:
|
Hi I’m Tracy Jordan. And I'm bringing the black back to NBC, and i'm proud as a peacork, baby.
|
|
Liz:
|
That's great Tracy, but it's "Peacock"
|
|
Tracy:
|
|
|
Liz:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Peacock Think "Peacock" Right Jenna?
|
|
Man:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Hi I’m Tracy Jordan. And I'm bringing the black back to NBC, and i'm proud as a pea-cock, baby!
|
|
Liz:
|
Okay. That time, I think you may have hit it a little bit too hard. Also, can you throw Jenna's name in there for me?
|
|
Man:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Hi I’m Tracy Jordan. And I'm bringing the black back to NBC. Right, Jenna Malvaney?
|
|
Liz:
|
Maroney -- rhymes with baloney. Here we go.
|
|
Man:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Hi I’m Tracy Jordan. And I'm bringing the black back to NBC, and i'm proud as a peacock, right, my baloney?
|
|
Liz:
|
|
|
Man:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Hi I’m Tracy Jordan. I’m black NBC! Very proud, like peacocks. Right Janet? I think we got it! I think we got it.
|
|
Jack:
|
|
Jenna Insulted
|
|
|
|
Jenna:
|
That was beyond insulting. The guy doesn't even know my name. Why do you love him so much?
|
|
Liz:
|
No, no, no, no, no. I don’t love him. Donaghy loves him, that’s it. Pete can’t stand him. Toofer thinks he’s an idiot. Even Cerie says he’s a pig.
|
|
Jenna:
|
|
|
Liz:
|
Yeah Frank also loves that video of the monkey smelling his own butt. Nobody wants Tracy Jordan here, except for certified non-genius Jack Donaghy.
|
|
Kenneth:
|
Sorry to interrupt, Ms. Maroney, but the sound guys want their microphone back.
|
|
Liz:
|
|
|
Kenneth:
|
Hear everything your saying, yes ma'am
|
|
Jenna:
|
Oh my god, I didn’t use the N-word, did I?
|
|
Kenneth:
|
Oh no, no, no Ms. Maroney, you did not.
|
|
Jenna:
|
Oh good, I mean I never would, but --
|
|
Liz:
|
Jenna, Take the mike off!
|
|
Jenna:
|
|
Got to do something
|
|
|
|
Liz:
|
|
|
Tracy:
|
Lets crash my car to see if the airbags go off.
|
|
Liz:
|
Let me explain what I'm talking about first. Everybody is mad at us.
|
|
Tracy:
|
|
|
Liz:
|
That’s because Donaghy threw me into the deep end of a pool that I didn’t even want to build in the first place. Look, I'm just saying, we both screwed up today. I think we should make nice and buy everyone some pizzas and some soft drinks.
|
|
Tracy:
|
No, no, no, no. This is what we're gonna do, Lemon. You're gonna get everyone on my yacht. Harbor cruise, drinks, togetherness.
|
|
Liz:
|
That's great. You have a yacht?
|
|
Tracy:
|
I got a yacht. I got a solid gold jet ski, two Bat-mobiles, the AIDS monkey’s bones.
|