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Liz:
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Hey, Jack! Did you dye your hair?
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Jack:
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Liz:
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So how was your New Year's?
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Jack:
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Wonderful. My dear friend, the deep-sea explorer, Bob Ballard, brought over a 2,000-year-old amphora of wine from a sunken Phoenician trading vessel. The wine turned out to be quite toxic. My guests and I spent the stroke of midnight in my garden vomiting.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Don't be. The whole night, purging. The New Year, the vivid hallucinations of Astarte, the Phoenician Goddess of Sex and War, it all wiped the slate clean.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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What happened before Christmas was a mistake. And she hasn't contacted me since, so clearly, she agrees. It's over.
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Liz:
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That's healthy, a clean break.
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Jack:
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Exactly. A clean break. Uh, so, what about you, Lemon? Is your 2010 off to a good start?
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Liz:
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Well, I spent New Year's Eve with my family, which was actually very special. My cousin, Randy, this kid from this rural coal-mining town, came out to us. And I think old Liz Lemon had a little something to do with that.
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Liz:
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Randy's gay, everybody. He's gay.
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Liz:
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I think everyone knew. Hey, Tracy.
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Tracy:
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Finally. Over the break, I forgot what floor I worked on.
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Liz:
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Tracy:
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Six, I knew it was a character from Blossom, but I couldn't find the ''Joey Russo'' button.
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Jenna:
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Hold the door! You guys, I had the most amazing New Year's. I met James Franco's manager. It was like a fairy tale.
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James Franco's Manager:
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My client, James Franco, he's actively looking for a relationship with a human woman to dispel certain unsavory rumors. Are you available for a fake romance with a movie star?
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Jenna:
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Does chewing on a sponge trick your brain's hunger center? Yes, yes! A million times, yes!
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Liz:
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So this is some arranged Hollywood relationship?
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Jenna:
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With James Franco. Can you believe they went to me before Ayia from The Real World: Cancun?
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Jack:
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I think it's great. The exposure will do wonders for you and T.G.S. Lemon, I want you and Jenna to have a meeting with James Franco and make sure his manager doesn't screw her.
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Jenna:
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Too late. Oh, wait, which way did you mean that?
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Tracy:
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I had a pretty amazing New Year's too. My wife and I are trying for a daughter. And on New Year's Eve, I think I got Angie pregnant.
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Everyone:
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Tracy:
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Okay, but I was going to describe it real good.
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