Secret Santa    [ Season 4 | Episode: 8 ]

Search:
Character: Scene:
( 271 Quotes Found )

* Quotes are grouped by Scene
 
Christmas gifts?

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Your hair is looking less weird.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Thanks.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Okay, Christmas gifts. Uh, Pete?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Well, he keeps telling me that he wants skinny jeans. So Cheese of the Month Club.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Uh, Jenna?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Oh, I want to take that Internet photo of her nipple slip and have it made into a jigsaw puzzle.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Aw, she'll love that.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Okay.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Uh, Jack?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Jack Donaghy?
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Yeah.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Huh, well, I've never exchanged gifts with Jack before. But we've known each other four years. I mean, we're friends, right?
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Absolutely. You guys remind me of that bantering couple in that old movie. Um... Meet the Parents.

YouFace

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Oh, my, is it yearbook time already?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
The company has acquired an up-and-coming social networking site called YouFace. So each executive has to set up their YouFace page. Now this picture will be my ''PhoLo''.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Not a word.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Which is a contraction for ''photo'' and ''hello''. YouFace. Who are you facing?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
No one. Those sites are for horny, married chicks with kids who want to exchange pervy emails with their old high school boyfriends.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
And since all your high school boyfriends are now gay...
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Exactly.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
So, Lemon, what can I do for you?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Do you want to exchange Christmas presents this year?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Uh, just, uh... I would love to.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Great, so what do you want?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Excuse me?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Well, in my family, everybody just writes down what they want and then, we give it to each other. And everybody has a great Christmas.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Lemon, gift giving is the purest expression of friendship. I'm going to think about what I know and like about you, and that will lead me to the perfect gift. And you do the same.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
So bath salts in a coffee mug... would be... not it.

Jenna gives no money

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
Thanks.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
Hey, new guy, how's it going?
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Well, I'm worried. I haven't been on the show the last two weeks.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
Good stuff, listen. Every Christmas, I collect money from the staff and give it to the cleaning ladies.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Yeah, of course. Count me in.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
Jenna, would you care to chip in?
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
No, thank you. I'm doing my own thing this year.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
She does this every year. She doesn't give the money because she knows that the card says ''From the cast and writers of T.G.S.'' and she'll get credit for it anyway. I should make up new cards that say ''Happy Holidays from Everyone Except Jenna''. But that would require me to have some remaining life force, Danny. So I'm going to go have a drink alone at the Oyster Bar.

I've been finger tagged

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
I've been finger tagged, Lemon.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Was it down by the subway entrance? 'Cause I saw a gangly looking kid down there.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
''Finger tagged'' means I have been contacted by someone else on YouFace. In this case, that would be Nancy Donovan, the cutest girl at East Sadchester High School, class of 1976.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
That's the year my mom was born.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Would you get us some pens?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
See, I told you you'd find an old girlfriend.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
She wasn't my girlfriend, Lemon. But I must admit Nancy Donovan was my first crush.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
My first crush was Larry Wilcox. The blonde guy from CHiPs? Bowl haircut? Thin lips?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
This wasn't a T.V. crush. This was real.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Oh, mine got pretty real.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Here is a woman I haven't seen in 25 years. One day on YouFace, and she finds me, tells me that she's coming down to pick up her sons at Fordham, and she'd love to swing by. What does that mean?
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Did she post you Public or P.M. you?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
I don't know.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Let's look at her page.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Okay. W-W-W...
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Got it.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
I'll check her Face-Vault to see her previous ''Bing-Bings.''
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Is YouFace hyphenated?
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
Huh, six months ago, her status said she was married. But 14 days ago, she changed it to ''Working On It''.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Really, may I see that?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Nope, do not put a hyphen in YouFace. There are definitely faces here, but they are not being treated with respect. [Gasping] Ew.

Good Merlinpeen

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Lutz:
Rate This Quote
Kenneth. Bag of names. ''Seeka Sanna''. ''Seeka Sanna''.
   Toofer:
Rate This Quote
Kenneth is doing his Secret Santa Fun Swap thing.
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
Ugh, He takes the two worst parts of Christmas, giving and rules, and combines them.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
And then, the person with the highest number gives the smallest gift to the tallest person. If they want to switch, they cannot. Unless they do. Then everyone puts their head down, except the murderer. Oh, wait, that's not right.
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
The whole thing was so confusing, I ended up getting my own crappy gift back. Like I need two copies of ''Over 60 Vixens''.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Mr. Rossitano, would you like to participate in our studio-wide Secret Santa Fun Swap?
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
I totally would do Secret Santa, but I don't believe in Christmas because I'm a Verdukian.
   Toofer:
Rate This Quote
Yes, we are all very strict Verdukians.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Oh, my apologies. I've never heard of that religion. What do y'all believe in?
   Toofer:
Rate This Quote
Oh, many things. Uh, the healing power of root beer.
   Lutz:
Rate This Quote
That a man can have up to nine wives if two of them are male.
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
And we always leave work to go to the movies on Merlinpeen. So good Merlinpeen to you, Kenneth.
   Toofer:
Rate This Quote
Good Merlinpeen.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Good Merlinpeen.

Meet Nancy Donovan

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Talk to me, what's this? Is this a store Jack likes?
   Jonathan:
Rate This Quote
Unbelievable. Do you really think you belong on Mr.Donaghy's personal gift list?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Why not? We're friends.
   Jonathan:
Rate This Quote
He's the best gift giver in the world. I tried once. I bought him a $95 bottle of olive oil. In return, he got my sister out of a North Korean jail.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Oh, brother.
   Jonathan:
Rate This Quote
You will never match him. And I'll be here next year to take you off of that list. Even if I get into law school, I won't go.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
All right.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Jonathan, would you... Oh, Lemon. Come in here for a minute. I want you to meet my old friend, Nancy Donovan.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
That's my maiden name. I keep telling you. Things have changed.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
You know, your hair... It's like a shag carpet. I want to sit on it and play a board game.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Nice to meet you.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Nice to meet you. Is your family here?
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Uh, just the boys. My husband couldn't make it.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Husband couldn't make it.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Oh, I brought something to show you. It's, uh... It's goofy. I know.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Oh, my goodness. ''Hey, Beantown''. ''Hey, Beantown'' was the school musical Nancy and I were in.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
I thought you had stage fright.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
♪ Hey, Beantown The Puritans found you ♪ Hey, Beantown ♪ Water surrounds you So let's watch the Sox play ball Play ball! Hey, Beantown, you've got it all ♪ Whoo!
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Yeah, I did plays in high school too. I was John Proctor in ''The Crucible''.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Oh, you went to an all girls' school?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
No.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Jack played Paul Revere. And we were all jealous of Lisa Alberson 'cause she got to play his horse. Bless her heart. She had a hypoactive thyroid. Do you remember the time she cannonballed into Mel and Deschette's above-ground pool and tore the lining?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
And floated out into the street!
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
And got hit by that car?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
I have never heard you laugh like that before!
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
That's how he laughs when he's really crackin' up.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
What, have you been faking it with me for the last three years? What are you, Hugh Hefner's twin girlfriends?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Nice to meet you.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Nice to meet you.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
She still owes me $10. That's true.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Yeah, he was always a thief, that guy
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
He was a moocher.

Verdukians?

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
What's with all the junk, Ken?
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Well, these are my all-inclusive holiday decorations. Here's a little Christmas tree.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Okay.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
A menorah.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
A picture of President Obama for the Muslims.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Going to let that one slide.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
And a bowl of meat cubes with picture of Jimmy Connors sticking out, in the tradition of Verdukianism.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Verdukianism? That doesn't make sense. Jimmy is Catholic.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Ah, Good Merlinpeen, gentlemen.
   Everyone:
Rate This Quote
Good Merlinpeen.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
So you guys are Verdukians?
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
Yep, that's why we can't do Secret Santa.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Mm-hm. Then sing that Verdukian winter carol. The famous one.
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
♪ Oh... Meatball of Verduk You bring me such Pizza... ♪
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Now a Christmas song. Oh, Mr. Baker!
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Hm? ♪ Oh, holy night The stars are brightly shining ♪
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
What the what?
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
New dude is as good at singing as Tracy Jordan is at everything.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
Danny, was that you? Why didn't you tell me you could sing like that?
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
I didn't think it was important.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
Not important? I had Tracy playing Josh Groban last week. Come here. Listen up. Jenna's not singing the Christmas solo on Friday's show. You are.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
What? Why?
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
For the most wonderful reason of all. Christmas vengeance. Jenna will finally be punished for all the times I had to pay her share of the money for the cleaning ladies.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
No, I don't want to steal Jenna's solo. That's not what the holidays are about. Maybe Jenna and I could do a duet instead?
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
Yes, a duet. Share the stage. She will love that.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
I'm sorry. Are you being sarcastic? Canadians have a hard time recognizing it because we don't have a big Jewish population.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
I'm not being sarcastic at all.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Okay, great.
   Pete:
Rate This Quote
Merry Christmas, Pete Hornberger.

Jack and Nancy catch-up

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
I can't believe you're not married. I thought you'd have some hot-shot, young wife with black hair who says queer stuff like ''dressing on the side''.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Well, I was married. But people grow apart.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Was she a bitch, or did you cheat?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
The former.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
The former? What are you, a newscaster?
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Whatever happened to your Boston accent?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
You're a liar, Nancy Donovan. I never had a Boston accent. What about you, loudmouth? What Southie piece of trash did you trick into marrying you?
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
I'll have you know that my husband happens to be a very prominent Pakistani anesthesiologist. No, I'm kidding you, he's an Irish moron. Runs a roofing company. So if you need your roof done, call someone else. Because my guy's... not reliable.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Oh. What do you say I take you and the boys out to dinner? I know a lot of terrific places.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Uh, I don't know. They have their hearts set on the ESPN Zone. They've been talking about the ''Hideki Matsui Caliente Fajitas'' all week.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Well, let them go to the ESPN Zone, and I'll take you someplace nice.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Yeah, sure. Why not? Um... I'm glad we, uh, never made out in high school. Otherwise, this whole thing would be so awkward.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Excuse me. We kissed every night on stage in ''Hey, Beantown''.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
No, that doesn't count. There wasn't even any tongue.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
But only because my mother told me that French kissing was for the Italians.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
They do love it. How else do you think I got Mr. Sorrentino to cast me as the Spirit of Liberty?

Rage stroke

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
A duet? Really? I didn't know you sang. It's funny, because it's kind of my thing. Next thing I know, you're going to be telling me you're really blonde and have a urinary tract infection.
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
Maybe I should hear you sing. That way, I can plan our harmonies.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
♪ Oh, Danny boy The pipes, the pipes are calling From glen to glen, and down the mountainside ♪ I'm sorry, is your nose bleeding?
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
Yes, because I'm so happy for you. It's definitely not a rage stroke.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Oh, great.

Intellectual deep end

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
What's up, Special K? Having a party?
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Not me, sir. Tonight is the Verdukian Holiday of Mouth Pleasures. Misters Rossitano, Spurlock and Lutz must have free sausage pizza followed by some gentle flossing performed by a blond virgin.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Your generosity is being taken advantage of.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
What do you mean?
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Verdukianism. It's fake. Those dudes made it up because they didn't want to do Secret Santa.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
But they had all these rules and rituals.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
That's what religion is, K-Fed. Just a bunch of made-up rules to manipulate people.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays? I'll tell you why. Because the Pope owns Long John Silvers.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Wait a minute. Are you saying that other religions are made up by man too?
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Uh-oh, Ken. We may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here. And if you try to grab onto me, we'll both drown.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
What if there is no God?
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Okay, time to go.

O.M.F.G.

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
So far, she's just uploaded some pictures.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
''My Christmas Trip to New York with the boys''. Ice skating, sure. Nancy cupping Burt Reynolds' crotch at the wax museum. That finger touching his moustache is me.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Why did she crop me out of all these pictures?
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
No, it's good. If Nancy didn't care about you, she'd leave you in. But she must feel weird about her husband seeing you there. She feels weird in a good way.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Weird in a good way, huh. Like going to the gym drunk.
   Cerie:
Rate This Quote
She changed her status from ''Working On It'' to ''Weirdsies''.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
O.M.F.G.

Wrong gift...

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Is that maroon and navy? Nerds!
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Don't tell me, Lemon. You spent $500 on a tie I already have. At a store with a ''no returns'' policy.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Oh, shark farts.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
But this is my lucky tie. And anyone who knows me well would know that. Just like I know you only wear that sweater when you're planning on eating pasta with red sauce.
   Jonathan:
Rate This Quote
Nice haircut.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Let's level the playing field. How about the most we can spend on each other's gifts How about the most we can spend on each other's gifts is zero dollars?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Really? You want to exchange creative gifts? Oh, well. You are the one that's in trouble now, buddy. Because creativity, to me, is just like... like a bird. Like a friendly bird that embraces all... ideas. Just, like, shoots out of its eyes all kinds of beauty.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Wow, Lemon. This is like watching Hemingway write. Mark Hemingway.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Yeah, wait. Why are you wearing your lucky tie?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
I'm having dinner tonight with Nancy. Alone. She changed her status to ''Weirdsies''.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
What are your expectations here? She's married.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Uh, I don't know, Lemon. Nancy's leaving tomorrow. Can't I just enjoy this while it lasts?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
That's what I said when that hot dog vendor passed out. But you made me go get help.

Jenna's doing her own thing

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Hey. Did you hire this guy to hide in my dressing room and punch me in the throat?
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
No.
   Subhas:
Rate This Quote
He's bigger than you said. May I still collect my kiss?
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
Vattene!
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Why would you do that, Jenna? I thought we were buddies.
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
You don't fool me with your innocent act. First, you force your way into my solo.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
I didn't force anything. Pete is the one that wanted to take away your solo.
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
What? Why?
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
He's mad that you don't chip in for the cleaning ladies' Christmas gifts.
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
Well, I'm doing my own thing. I got them this. The program from this year's Asian Women in Television Awards. Julie Chen's energy drink, Chenergize. A FlipVideo. Hang on, I didn't know this was in there.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Wow, you're really getting the Christmas spirit. Oh, my God. I just got sarcasm.
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
Fine, I'm terrible at Christmas because I've never had a nice one. Sometimes, my mom would take us to see Santa Claus, but that's just because she suspected one of them was my deadbeat dad. So I'd have to get on every Santa's lap in the Bakersfield area and scream, ''You ought be ashamed of yourself, Travis!''
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Oh, no. That sounds horrible.
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
And then, I'd sing carols in the middle of Sears just to create a distraction while my mom shoplifted. And those few minutes when I was singing carols, That was the one part of Christmas I liked. And now, you've taken that away from me.
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
Well, that went well. Yes.

Kenneth loses his faith

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
You're just a Kenny Rogers doll now.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Something you want to say?
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
We want to do Secret Santa! Yay!
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
Secret Santa has been cancelled. Because I have lost my faith.
   Toofer:
Rate This Quote
But something's changed in us. It's a Christmas miracle. That certainly proves God exists.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
If God existed, then he would punish you for what you did to me. And yet, here you are, unpunished. Ergo, our actions have no consequences. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go buy some guitar music.
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
You have turned Ken out, on Christmas! You will fix this.
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
How?
   Tracy:
Rate This Quote
Punish yourselves!

Jack and Nancy's date

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Hey, what was the name of that abandoned factory where we used to go shoot B.B. guns at rats?
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Wolford Cap and Gown.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Of course. Is that still there?
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
No, they tore it down and put up a big playground.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Oh, what a shame.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Yeah.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
So, uh, can I buy you a nightcap?
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Better not. We've got an early train back to Boston tomorrow. And you know how hard it is to get teenagers out of bed in the morning.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Oh, yes. But not in the way you're talking about.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
It was great to see you, Jack. I'll, uh... I'll hit you on YouFace. But you've got to promise to finger tag me back.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
I'd like nothing more.

Fake punishment

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
Help, Lutz thought that red wire was a Twizzler! Kenneth, he's being punished by a stern but just God.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
You can't fake this, Mr. Lutz. Or hurt yourself on purpose by, say, grabbing that blue wire, which would've immediately killed you. It needs to be God's will.
   Lutz:
Rate This Quote
I almost touched that blue wire. I could have died. I'm gonna tell Sharon I love her. I don't care if we're cousins!

Liz figures out the perfect gift

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
What is this?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
This is your zero dollars present.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, my friend is Jack If you like his necktie, pat him on the back He's a Jack-attack, paddy whack, give the man a snack ♪
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Nope, never mind. Not your present.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Uh, no, please. Don't go. I'm sorry that I wasn't even able to feign interest in whatever that was. Nancy left this morning. She'll be on the 12:10 out of Penn Station. Do you ever wonder, Lemon, what your life would be like if you had never left your hometown?
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Oh, of course. Have you not read my terrible short story, ''The Two Paths of Virginia Apple''?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
I've spent my whole life trying to erase where I came from. But after these moments with Nancy, for the first time in my life... I'm homesick.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Well, you'll stay in touch, right?
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
I don't know. Nancy's going back to her husband. Her life. I think this was just a moment in time. I just wish it had lasted a little bit longer.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Okay, well, I'm going to go work on your real gift. You know what would go real nice on that wall over there? A drawing of a frog.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
No.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
No.

Danny sings bad

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Man:
Rate This Quote
Back in five... four, three, two...
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
♪ Frosted windowpanes Candles gleaming inside Painted candy canes on the tree ♪
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
♪ Santa's on his way He's filled his sleigh with things Things for you and me ♪
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
♪ It's that time of year When the world falls in love ♪
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
♪ Every song you hear seems to say ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
♪ May your New Years dreams come true ♪

Nancy's train got cancelled??

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
Hey, Jack. My train got cancelled. We spent all day at Penn Station trying to get out. I figured I should finally take the hint and meet you for that drink.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Well, I'm glad you came back.
   Nancy Donovan:
Rate This Quote
And I figured I owed you a kiss goodbye. I mean, uh, what's the big deal? We did it every night in ''Hey, Beantown''. We'll just do it high school style. No tongue.

Jack gives Liz her gift

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
♪ And this song of min
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
♪ In three quarter time ♪
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
♪ Wishes you and yours The same thing too ♪
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Merry Christmas, Lemon.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
The gender-blind Crucible!
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Framed in wood from the stage of your high school theater. Jonathan had to drive all over Pennsylvania, and I did not reimburse him for gas. Zero dollars.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Thank you, Jack, that's amazing.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
And don't worry about my present. I already got the greatest Christmas gift you could imagine. Nancy came back to say goodbye. Her train was cancelled.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Because somebody called in a bomb threat to Penn Station? You're welcome. Merry Christmas.

They get their punishment!

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Cop:
Rate This Quote
Hi, which of you are Frank Rossitano and James Spurlock?
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
That's us.
   Cop:
Rate This Quote
You're under arrest.
   Frank:
Rate This Quote
What did we do?
   Cop:
Rate This Quote
Someone called in a bomb threat from your phone this morning.
   Lutz:
Rate This Quote
I renounce Verdukianism!
   Cop:
Rate This Quote
What, what does that mean? Are you Al Qaeda? Come here, pal.
   Kenneth:
Rate This Quote
My angry God is punishing them. It's a Christmas miracle.

Rest of the song

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Jenna:
Rate This Quote
♪ And this song of mine In three quarter time ♪
   Danny:
Rate This Quote
♪ Wishes you and yours The same thing too Merry Christmas to you ♪

Jack's extended gift

Share Quotes Facebook | Twitter   Rate your favorite quote
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Are you Larry Wilcox?
   Larry Wilcox:
Rate This Quote
Yes, ma'am, this evening, you have permission to call me Officer Jon Baker. Oh, but, uh, no sex stuff and no touching my gun.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Of course, yeah.
   Jack:
Rate This Quote
Merry Christmas, Lemon.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
Okay. Wait, how is this zero dollars?
   Larry Wilcox:
Rate This Quote
Well, he promised to get me on Dancing With the Stars.
   Liz:
Rate This Quote
But that's on A.B.C.
   Larry Wilcox:
Rate This Quote
Donaghy!