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Announcer:
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All right, the last pig is in the chuckling chute, and we're now the Laugh Factory! We've got a great show for y'all tonight, and we're going to get right to it with Stone Mountain's own Rick Wayne and Pumpkin!
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Liz:
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All right, you asked for it.
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Rick Wayne:
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Good evening, everyone! How y'all doing?
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Liz:
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Hey, this your first time doing this?
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Pumpkin:
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Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was Filthy, Thin-Lipped Hooker Night here at the Laugh Factory.
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Liz:
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Wow, okay, I underestimated...
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Pumpkin:
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Rick Wayne:
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Pumpkin:
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Rick Wayne:
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Liz:
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Pumpkin:
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Are you still talking? You are one mouthy bitch. I don't go down to where you work and stop them from milking you.
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Jack:
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I'm sorry, but that's enough, sir. You're out of line.
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Pumpkin:
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I'll tell you what's out of line. Your old lady's knockers. Good lord, woman. I wouldn't [beep] you with Elmo's [beep].
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Jack:
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Rick, pumpkin, what are you doing? A gentleman, whether he's human or, somehow, more than human, does not speak to a lady like that. You two are wholesome and decent.
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Pumpkin:
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Oh, I get it. You think because we talk like this, we're all simple and quaint? Well, I'm an amateur astronomer and Rick's black wife speaks French.
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Rick Wayne:
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Liz:
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See, I told you. There's no real America.
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Pumpkin:
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You shut that dog rectum you call a mouth!
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Why are you people laughing at this? You're supposed to be better, nicer. But you're terrible. You're all terrible. Just like the people in New York.
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Liz:
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All God's children are terrible.
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Pumpkin:
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Terrible, huh? I got a question for you there, pal. Do you ever find smaller heads orbiting your head?
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Jack:
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Is that a comment about the size of my head? I'm a tall man. And it's proportional to my frame.
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Pumpkin:
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Your frame? What are they building there? A Super Walmart?
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Jack:
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You come down here and say that.
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Pumpkin:
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I can't. I got a man's arm stuck up me. But you know what that's like.
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Jack:
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I can't believe I bought a submarine sandwich franchise!
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Pumpkin:
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You look so much bigger up close!
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Jack:
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The deal's off, Wayne. Lemon? To the Kia Sorrento!
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