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Liz:
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So you can have all the powers of Superman for an entire year, but...
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Man:
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Superman? I've done hot yoga with Tom Welling and Dean Cain, and I don't think they're right for this.
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Liz:
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Man:
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Sorry, I've got to take this. What's up? Nothing, just meeting with this Dealbreakers lady. I don't know. Regular six, drunk seven.
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Jack:
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Padma, I'm so happy you've taken an interest in Dealbreakers.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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I love doing Top Chef. But this would give me a chance to showcase my other talents. I mean, men always tell me I'm very funny.
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Jack:
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Padma from Top Chef:
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Have you heard this one? Knock, knock.
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Man:
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We don't even care about the profits from your actual show. That's nothing to us. That's our Snapple money. See, we're all about monetizing you as a brand. Oh, I'm blowing up. It's Rahm Emanuel. He wants me to go to Deer Valley. I am crushing it!
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Liz:
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Yeah, because I'm really looking for a partner in this. Someone I can trust.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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So I would be a full partner in this with you?
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Jack:
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That's what I'm looking for, yes.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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I like it. You know, I'm very entrepreneurial. I invented this new bag that you put around a sandwich to keep it fresh. But it's clear. So you still get the full visual of the sandwich.
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Jack:
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Uh, so, it's a sandwich bag.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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No, Jack. It's a new thing that I invented.
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Jack:
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Man:
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The point is, we do business together, and you are my number one priority. Nothing is more important to me than you. I've got to take this. It's Brooke Hogan. What's up, you tall drink of bitch? You're amazing. No, seriously. Amazing. Uh-huh. Yeah, you heard me. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. No, seriously.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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So what would my time commitment be if I host this thing?
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Jack:
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Uh, honestly, two days a week.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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Wow, that's great. Top Chef has all this traveling and all-day shoots. If I could do this instead, I wouldn't be so grouchy and exhausted all the time. My clothes wouldn't have food stains all over them. I could actually find a balance between my work and being a mommy. This would change my life, Jack.
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Jack:
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It would. It would change your life.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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Jack:
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Padma from Top Chef:
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Jack:
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I don't want to change your life. I want to change Lemon's life. I'm sorry.
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Padma from Top Chef:
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Ugh, this business is so hard! Not really. I'm kidding. Go, go.
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Jack:
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Liz:
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Jack:
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I was wrong. It's you, it's always been you. I want to do business with you, Lemon.
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Liz:
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