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Liz:
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Whoo! Okay, exciting news, guys. This week, T.G.S. is going on the road!
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Danny:
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There's a rumor that it's Miami, is it Miami?
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Liz:
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Close. It is a city with an N.B.A. team. And even though Will Smith never wrote any raps about it the poet, Robert Lowell, lived there.
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Pete:
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Okay, we're going to Boston, no one's happy about it.
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Jenna:
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Liz:
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No, no, no, it's going to be fun.
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Frank:
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How? Their bars close at 2:00.
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Toofer:
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You know, I went to college in Boston. Well, not in Boston, but nearby. No, not Tufts.
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Jenna:
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Shut up. It's 14 degrees up there. How is that supposed to make us feel better?
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Toofer:
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Liz:
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You have been told to shut up. Come on, silver lining! It's a fun vacation on the show's dime.
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Pete:
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FYI, to pay for this vacation, we need to cut some corners. So we will be doubling up hotel rooms and we are going by bus.
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Pete:
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Also, there is no SpectraVision or internet in the hotel so plan ahead, gentlemen. Porn-wise.
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Lutz:
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Did Pete just say we're doubling up rooms?
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Frank:
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Did he? Oh, this is the worst.
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Lutz:
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What if, uh, you and I roomed together?
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Frank:
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Oh, no, Toofer and I already talked about it.
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Lutz:
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You can't have talked about it! You just said you didn't even know about it!
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Frank:
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You think I like sharing a room with Toofer? Dude is still playing that Obama song. And yeah, I know you're standing there!
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Pete:
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Hey, fellows. We're getting Tracy his own room, so I assume you two will pair up?
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Dotcom:
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Why would you just assume we would room together?
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Grizz:
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Why would he assume we wouldn't?
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Dotcom:
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I don't know. Maybe because one of us still hasn't read the other's screenplay.
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Grizz:
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I read it. I just didn't like it.
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Jenna:
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Hey, Cerie. I thought you and I could be roommates. Go out, meet guys, share clothes like twinsies. What size are you?
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Cerie:
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Usually, designers just make clothes for me. But when I do buy stuff, I'm a child's medium.
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Jenna:
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Well, I only wear designer labels. These are Jamie Foxx for Assfarm.
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Cerie:
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But I can't room with you. Sue and I already talked about it.
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Jenna:
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Why? You know Sue says stuff about you behind your back.
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Cerie:
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What, she always says stuff to me about you.
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Jenna:
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Wait... what? I was making my thing up. You bitch.
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Sue:
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What did you tell her, you vondruke?
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Tracy:
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Liz Lemon, I can't go to Boston.
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Liz:
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Tracy:
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You don't understand. I get in trouble on the road.
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Tracy:
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Thank you, thank you. It's great to be here in Cleveland.
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Man:
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Tracy:
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I suck? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame sucks. [Crowd booing] Hello.
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Tracy:
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The road is a minefield, L.L. All those angry drunks and new temptations?
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Liz:
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Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. This Boston thing is Jack's idea.
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Tracy:
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That stupid, Irish, piece of... Oh, boy. Boston is not going to go well.
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