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Liz:
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Jack:
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Come in, Lemon. Just revisiting some old GE quarterly reports. My first cover from my first year at the company in 1985.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Ha. Good times. Just out of frame is a wheelbarrow full of cocaine.
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Liz:
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So, uh, why the trip down memory lame? Ha ha! High-fiving a million angels.
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Jack:
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The Microwave Division Quarterly Report comes out today. It'll probably be my last with GE now that I'm transitioning to Kabletown. I've been a GE man for twenty-five, and a GE woman for one week of corporate espionage at Revlon.
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Liz:
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So... is there any way you could possibly be the voice of pronouncity.com.
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Jack:
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What? ... No! [types in words]
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Jack:
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Jack:
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Part of my Princeton scholarship included work for the linguistics department. They wanted me to record every word of the dictionary to preserve the perfect American accent in case of nuclear war. Well, the Cold War ended and Princeton began selling the recordings.
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Liz:
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So people can just buy your voice?
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Jack:
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Oh, the things it's been dragged into. Thomas the Tank Engine. Wu-Tang songs.
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Jack:
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[cut to music video] Uh. Yeah. Just. Like that. Make 'em clap. Make 'em make 'em clap.
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Liz:
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Huh, I always forget you used to be poor.
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Jack:
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Thank you. But yes, I've had to work my entire life. It began when my father left and I started working on the Boston docks as a twelve year old stevedore. "Bales up, you micks! Bales up!"
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Liz:
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You've been working since you were twelve?
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Jack:
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I had to. Those jobs puts me through college, but they also kept me from having the college experience. I was up early every morning working my way through the dictionary working my way through the dictionary for the linguistics department or sweeping the floors at the Princeton Monkey Lab. It wasn't the feces that got to you, Lemon. It was the crudely scrawled notes of "help me."
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Liz:
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Yeah, well college wasn't THAT fun, Jack. I mean, sure, the first two weeks are nice.
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Jack:
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Lemon, I really don't have time for a long-
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Liz:
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The fall of 1988. A young Liz Lemon enters the University of Maryland. Richard Marx haircut, pilonidal cyst under control. It was a magical time, Jack!
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Jack:
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Don't worry about getting to your point. I'm going to live forever.
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Liz:
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The registrar accidentally gave me a handicapped room. It was HUGE. And for two weeks it was party central. I was popular. People gave me nicknames. A blonde girl high-fived me. But then, like all good things, it ended... before it even began.
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Jack:
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Lemon, that's actually MY thoughtful window staring spot. Visitors stare... [gestures to other window] over here.
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Liz:
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[sighs and stares thoughtfully out her window]
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Jack:
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[sighs and stares thoughtfully out his window]
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