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Liz:
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[to the sound of crying babies] Where did all those babies come from?
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Dave:
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Good God, they've restarted the failed NBC shows? Oh no, please, no, not Gals on the Town again.
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TV:
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[theme song] Love and friendship, having it all, or maybe just a great pair of shoes. One of them has to be Asian, can they be good at their jobs?
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Kate:
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Those bathrooms are disgusting! Someone has to do something1
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Thomas:
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Please, do something! You said you knew the captain.
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Liz:
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All right. You know what? This wrong. I can see the terminal from my window, where people are buying new magazines and crossing their legs, and eating at a Chili's Express. We were like them once and we can be again.
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Kate:
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But we're just airplane folk now.
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Liz:
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No, we still have our dignity. Maybe we can't go back to the terminal, but I know Captain Burnett. He is a reasonable person. He compromises readily on movie choices and.. sexual positions. If we as a group can decide what reasonable things we want, I'd be happy to talk to him. [passengers cheer]
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Carol:
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Okay I can't turn the air on because I'd have to power the engines up. That wastes fuel. I'm assuming you don't want to stop for gas in the middle of the ocean.
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Liz:
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Okay, what about the bathrooms?
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Carol:
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Stewart did not study dance at Carnegie Mellon so become a flight attendant to clean bathrooms.
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Liz:
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Well at least give us some food.
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Carol:
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Negative. Those potato chip bags are designed to be opened in-flight. You open them at sea level, somebody could be killed.
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Liz:
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And can you tell me when we might be in the air, Captain?
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Carol:
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Sure. In about a half an hour!
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Liz:
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Okay, Carol. You have a decision to make. Are your passengers just cattle, or are some of them, maybe even just one of them, someone you care about.
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Carol:
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I think you need to make a decision. Am I just another authority figure that you're taking one of your stands against like that police horse you yelled at?
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Liz:
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If I can't poop in the street why should my tax dollars pay for someone else to?
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Carol:
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Or am I your boyfriend who you're going to let do his job?
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Liz:
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Really? If this if you doing your job, you're terrible at it! [silence]
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Carol:
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[slowly reaches for button]
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Liz:
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Think about what you're doing. You're making a choice here. I'm not just a passenger!
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Carol:
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Liz:
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Stewart:
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And the Captain has turned on the "Fasten Seatbelt" sign. All passengers, including any lipless middle-aged women in lesbian clown shirts, should please take their seat at this time.
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Carol:
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