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Jonathan:
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Sir! Representative Bookman is on her way up.
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Jack:
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Jonathan, what did we talk about?
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Jonathan:
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But sir, I was born in Palo Alto.
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Jonathan:
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[Indian accent] I will go get her, sir. A thousand apologies!
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Jenna:
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Jack, it's an actor me-mergency. I want to get Kenneth back into the Page Program, but whatever this is won't let me.
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Jack:
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What? Who- Who cares? Jeffery, just hire Kenneth back.
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Jeffrey Winerslav:
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But Mr. Donaghy, the only --
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Jack:
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I don't have time for this. Just do it.
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Jenna:
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Regina Bookman:
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Jack:
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Representative Bookman, welcome to NBC. This is the perfect place to begin our tour. Studio 6H, home to one of NBC's biggest stars, Tracy Jordan.
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Regina Bookman:
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Mr. Jordan. Regina Bookman. We met at the Congressional Black Caucus Fundraiser you crashed your motorcycle into.
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Tracy:
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And thank you, Representative. What you're doing is very important. I can assure you that NBC is committed to making diversity our priority. Then just way away and don't try to kiss her, Tracy, and don't say that last part. [winks at Jack]
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Lutz:
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[to Tracy as he takes a donut] Hey! You eat from your own table, remember? Our food is separate. Separate!
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Tracy:
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I'll kill you, white devil!
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Lutz:
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Jack:
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Uhhh... Let's just head this way.
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Jack:
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[looks at bathrooms with Colored and White signs next to them] So how was your flight?
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Jack:
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Ah, Congresswoman this is Jeffrey Winerslav. He heads our Diversity in Hiring initiative. What's the latest from HR, Jeffrey?
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Jeffrey Winerslav:
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Well, I'd like to tell you that we filled the minority slot in the NBC Page Program with a native American fellow named Wants to Get Sandwiches, but you made me hire THAT guy instead. [points to Kenneth]
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Kenneth:
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Mr. Shoelace! You're being a silly.
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Regina Bookman:
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You call that a diversity hire?
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Jack:
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Uh, maybe. That young man is a hillbilly with a girl's middle name, and because his county never re-joined the Union, a foreigner.
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Kenneth:
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Now you're untied? Have you two been talking?
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Jack:
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There's James! Attention everyone! I present you, James Spurlock, with the 2010 Tavis Smiley Excellence in Broadcasting away. Thank you for making us all.. smiley! [applause]
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Regina Bookman:
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Mr. Spurlock, how long have you been head writer here?
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Toofer:
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Regina Bookman:
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Mmm hmmm. And who is the real head writer of this show?
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Liz:
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Regina Bookman:
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Ahhh. Tell me, you obviously lonely and tired woman, do you have to put up with this nonsense every day?
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Liz:
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Regina Bookman:
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You know, they say ninety percent of the work is done by ten percent of the people. Thank you for being that ten perfect.
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Liz:
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Regina Bookman:
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After what I just saw, you may be the only person here I respect.
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Liz:
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Regina Bookman:
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You get an "I Met A Congresswoman" sticker.
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Liz:
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Thank you! Finally, that's all I wanted was for --
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Regina Bookman:
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This country was founded on certain principals! Freedom! Troops! America! Flag! Now I might not know where I'm going with this, but I know we will get there together! [applause] WHO.. LOVES.. PIZZA?! [applause]
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Jack:
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Jack:
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Okay fine, I was putting on a show. I was tap dancing. But you made me tap dance.
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Jenna:
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Did someone say tap dance? [starts tap dancing]
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Jack:
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[closes door on Jenna] What was I supposed to do? This is a multi-billion dollar deal. There are thousands of jobs at stake. Hundreds of second homes. And your ridiculous grandstanding could ruin the whole thing, like luffing your spinnaker at a yachting regatta. I know I'm not helping myself...
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Regina Bookman:
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Sorry, grandstanding? Do you not think I believe in this?
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Jack:
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It's just political theatre. You're up for re-election.
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Regina Bookman:
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Yes. Maybe I get carried away sometimes with my love for... this great country and the troops! And the flag troops!
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Jack:
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Regina Bookman:
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And I apologize. But I only talk this way so I can get people to listen. I care about these issues.
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Jack:
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And so do I. If you just give me a chance instead of ambushing me in front of the Congress and my own employees! You think I don't take diversity seriously? Only a fool doesn't. Diversity is the engine that drives this country. We are an immigrant nation! The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things, the next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas, the third generation... snowboards and takes improv classes. We always need people who are pulling themselves up by their bootstraps. I did it. And it's my job to help others do it, too.
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Regina Bookman:
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How do I know you really mean that?
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Jack:
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How do I know you're not just grandstanding?
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Regina Bookman:
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Oh I'll show you how. Unless you give me a real reason not to, I'm voting no on this deal.
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Jack:
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Then I've got three months to change your mind. I'll show you that this company --
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Tracy:
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[bursts in] I'm cutting that fat cracker's head off!
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Lutz:
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I'm part Eskimo! Hate crime!
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Tracy:
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Lutz:
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Tracy:
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Regina Bookman:
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[opens, then closes door on tap dancing Jenna]
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