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Liz:
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Tracy. Your little singing game is over. I got auto-tune for my computer and if you try to sing I'll just take out the melody, and no one has to pay for that! [sings into auto-tune] Liz Lemon one, do do do do. That was me singing the Beetles' "Here Comes The Sun" for free.
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Tracy:
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L.L. please, I'm way ahead of you. [puts on New York Rangers' goalie mask] But I'm not rehearsing. I'm going to shoot garden gnomes with a handgun at Tupoc's house. [to BRIT] Yeah, Tupoc's alive. I bet you'd like to have that on your show.
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Matthew:
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Yes, Tracy, obviously, but again I can't use any of it when you're wearing that mask. The Rangers logo is trademarked.
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Liz:
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Okay fine. Jack was right. I can't out-crazy you. So we're going to talk. Right now. No cameras. [take Tracy into his dressing room] All right, Tracy. The kid gloves are coming off.
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Tracy:
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Oh, that explains it. Those are gloves. No wonder they're so coarse and wrinkly.
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Liz:
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Five years ago I rescued your career. And how do you repay me? By making my life harder at every turn. You're late, you blow off rehearsals, and your online romance prank was not funny! I fell in love with you!
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Tracy:
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[laughs] You wore a yellow hat to that coffee shop. You know what's actually funny about all this? You think I'm the problem. Have you every tried to work with you?
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Liz:
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Really? You're trying to blame me?
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Tracy:
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Five years ago I saved YOUR show! I rode in here on a white horse that you made me leave in the lobby. All you do is stifle me when you should be thanking me.
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Liz:
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Oh, yeah, I should be thanking you. Without me do you have any idea where you would be right now?
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Tracy:
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[in Liz's imagination] This honky grandma be tripping... Over SurfMaster's mid-range jet skis.
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Tracy:
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Where do you think you would be without me?
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Liz:
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[in Tracy's imagination] Now, Jerry, in rehearsal, it's okay to play with yourself, but when we do the show-
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Dennis:
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[in Tracy's imagination] Hey dummy, you gotta drive me to paintball, and no complaining. The only reason why I got that DUI is cuz it was your birthday. [to old man] What's up, Jerry. [laughs] That's awesome!
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Liz:
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Well at least Jerry bothered to come to rehearsal. And, in my alternate reality, Dennis dies and I win the lottery.
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Tracy:
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But then I would run you over with a jet ski.
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Liz:
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