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Liz:
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Well, it's been a pretty rough day, but at least we're in Newark now.
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Jack:
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What are you going to do about Carol?
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Liz:
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I'm going to break up with him. Let him off the hook.
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Jack:
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That would be a mistake, Lemon. Yes, you are the sexual equivalent of a million Hindenburgs, but you deserve someone like Carol in your life, and he deserves you becuase -- and I'm only going to say this once a decade -- you're great. You're Liz Lemon, dammit. In certain lights you're an "eight," using East Coast Over Thirty-Five standards, excluding Miami.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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You go in there, you grab Carol, you take him into one of those unisex family bathrooms, pull down that diaper changing thing... and go to town on him.
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Liz:
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I'll try. But if I couldn't get it done in Vegas after a Penn and Teller show, I don't know how it's gonna happen here.
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Jack:
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Wait a minute. You had your problem with Caol in Las Vegas.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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The Tom Jones poster. Tom Jones plays Vegas all the time. He has billboards everywhere.
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Liz:
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No kidding, there was one right outside our... hotel room window. Oh my God!
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Jack:
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Think back to your college boyfriend, was there any...
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Liz:
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Yes! When this happened with Joel, "What's New Pussycat" was playing on the bus we were on, I mean the room we were in. And when it happened with Dennis, he had just gotten a perm!
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Jack:
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Tom Jones is the trigger. He makes you remember your mother taking the people away!
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Liz:
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Does this mean I'm fixed?
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Jack:
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Oh God, no, you've got years of therapy ahead of you, probably electro-shock, but this is a breakthrough, Lemon. And a big one.
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Liz:
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Jack Donaghy, in my book, you're better than Reagan.
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Jack:
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I appreciate that, Lemon, but if you ever speak ill of Reagan again, I will smack those teeth straight.
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Liz:
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[hugs Jack and runs into airport] USA! USA! USA! USA!
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Liz:
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[runs back out] He's at JFK. I wrote it down wrong.
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