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Thad:
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Liz? Liz Lemon! It's me, Thad, from college. I've had my skin tags removed since then so you can see my eyes now.
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Liz:
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Oh, you ran the lightboard at the theater! Everyone called you … "Thad", no nickname.
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Thad:
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And you, you were the star of the 'The Sound of Music'!
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Liz:
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Thank you. Not everyone thinks of the young Nazi boy as the star of that show -- You are one age going on another age / What's going to happen next? -- A lot of people didn't realize that was the free, unlicensed version.
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Thad:
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Look, I know it's last minute but I am having an epic Leap Day party this afternoon.
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Liz:
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Wow, a daytime party celebrating Leap Day. Sounds fun but I have to work.
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Jenna:
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Liz:
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No, I'm talking to someone.
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Jenna:
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Oh, I'm sorry, I don't see people that look like that.
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Liz:
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See you. Wow, that was this creep I went to college with; such a nerd! And that's coming from someone who wrote lyrics to the song the Cantina band plays in 'Star Wars'. “Figrin D’an the kloo horn man--
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Jenna:
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Liz:
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--He’s from Clak’dor 7! But at least I don't throw Leap Day parties.
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Jenna:
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Wait, that was Thad Warmald, the billionaire?
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Liz:
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No, that was Sad Thad The Skintag Lad, heh heh. I coined that.
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Jenna:
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That name has been all over the 'Gold Digger' message boards lately. I don't know a lot about business but he did an Internet and now the computers like him, and Wall Street is Google.
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Liz:
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Jenna:
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We are going to this party, and you're introducing me to Thad. Liz, I'm on a sexual walkabout right now. I need to know if anything can make me happier than being with Paul and maybe twenty billion dollars would do it.
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Liz:
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What?! How much Internet did he do?
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Lutz:
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Poke your eyes, pull your hair, you forgot what clothes to wear.
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Liz:
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Lutz:
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You're not wear yellow and blue on Leap Day.
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Liz:
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So what? Leap Day's not a thing
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Kenneth:
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Leap Day William, Leap Day William / Bursting from the sea / Will he bring his bucket of sweets / For mom and pop and me?
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Liz:
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What the crap is going on in here?
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Kenneth:
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Why, Leap Day William is visiting!
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Liz:
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Kenneth:
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Ms. Lemon, did you not grow up with Leap Day William? He lives in the Marianna Trench? He emerges every four years to trade children's tears for candy?
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Liz:
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What? No! But White Haven was founded by the Amish and we really only celebrated their holidays. After high school, I went on Rumshpringa--it was crazy! Totally snuck into 'The Witches of Eastwick'.
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Frank:
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But where were you when we did this four years ago?
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Liz:
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Certainly not on a Michael's Craft crafting cruise.
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Kenneth:
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Oh Ms. Lemon, you are missing out. Every four years, you get a magical extra day!
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Pete:
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A day to do the things you ordinarily wouldn't do, to take chances! For instance, I am wearing a braided necklace with a shark's tooth on it.
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Toofer:
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I listened to rap music for the first time. Not a fan.
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Jenna:
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And you and I are going to a party thrown by a bilionaire. Come on, take a leap, Liz!
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Liz:
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OK, fine, I'll go. But if he has a giant chandelier in his house, I am out; those things fall. Wah wah!
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Kenneth:
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Leap Day William, Leap Day William.
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