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Jack:
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Good, you’re here. Josh and his agent are on the way up.
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Liz:
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Yeah. Then they’re gonna be on their way down!
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Jack:
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Um, you know, that was weak, but you’re in the mix, you’re having fun, I like that.
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Jack:
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[Alan and Josh enter] Gentleman, make yourselves comfortable.
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Josh:
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[They can’t find any chairs. Josh sees photos of young men on the table.] What are all these headshots for?
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Jack:
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Nothing. Just some meetings we’re taking.
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Josh:
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Liz:
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And if -- [Jack puts hand on her wrist, she stops]
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Alan:
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Look Jack, I think I should tell you; Josh has an offer from The Daily Show.
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Jack:
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Yes, Liz mentioned that. I don’t think that’s gonna pan out.
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Josh:
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Alan:
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What happened? What did you do to our offer?
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Jack:
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I called my friend Sol Sheinhardt, of our parent company, Sheinhardt Wigs, who called his nephew Morty Sheinhardt, who called his son, [whispers] Jon Stewart.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Let’s get down to brass tacks. Josh can stay.
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Josh:
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Jack:
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But no raise, no movies, and only one Jewish holiday. What’s the one where they go into the tent?
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Alan:
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Jack:
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That’s the one. We got a deal?
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Alan:
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Deal. Thank you. I need this money. I have a really bad sex addiction.
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Jack:
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Liz:
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That’s it?!? I thought you said we could crush him.
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Jack:
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What are you talking about? I took away everything, that’s a crushing.
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Liz:
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No, do more stuff! [To Josh] You made me look like an idiot. You have to pay.
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Jack:
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Liz, he’s not getting a raise.
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Liz:
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Do The Worm! [Josh looks at Jack, who looks at Liz] DO The Worm! [Josh gets on the floor, mimics being a worm on the ground.]
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Jack:
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Good Lord! The Worm. That’s so degrading. Are its origins German?
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Liz:
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Uh. Now say five reasons I’m better than you!
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Josh:
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Liz:
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Josh:
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You can beat me at arm wrestling
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Liz:
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Josh:
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Liz:
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Yeah, suck it. I do read the paper!
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Alan:
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Do you want me to do anything?
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Liz:
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Alan:
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A crab! [He gets on floor next to Josh]
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Wow! Liz, you took to this like a natural. More than I ever--- Okay now, the crab is just getting aroused. Shut it down. Shut it down.
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