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Jack:
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Kenneth, do you have a minute?
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Kenneth:
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Jack:
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Kenneth, you and I actually have a lot in common. We're both hard workers. When I was your age I was putting myself through college in Boston, paddling swan boats for the tourists.
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Kenneth:
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Is that a euphemism for some kind of sex worker?
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Jack:
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Kenneth, my point is, I worked hard because I wanted to get somewhere. I had drive. And it disappoints me to see you, without a dream, content with this meaningless, pitiful job.
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Kenneth:
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Do you know why I put up with this "pitiful job" Mr. Donaghy, why I fetch these folks lunches and clean up their barfs? Because they make television. And more than jazz, or musical theater, or morbid obesity, television is the true American art form. Think of all the shared experiences television has provided for us. From the moon landing, to the Golden Girls finale. From Walter Cronkite denouncing Vietnam, to Oprah pulling that trash bag of fat out in a wagon. From the glory and the pageantry of the Summer Olympics, to the less fun Winter Olympics. So please, don't tell me I don't have a dream, sir. I am living my dream. Oh my. How'd he get that up there?
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Jack:
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I wish I shared your passion for television Kenneth. Which show would you rather watch? A ex-porn star who talks to ghosts, or a remake of Little House on the Prairie?
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Kenneth:
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Neither! I want to see a show where women get their hair done while listening to salsa music. I also have an idea for a cop show called K-9! Exclamation point. Oh, and a game show called Gold Case. It's a cross between Deal or No Deal and Millionaire, with a charming celebrity host, to be determined.
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Jack:
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Kenneth:
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It's called Gold Case. It's Deal or No Deal meets Millionaire. There are 10 models, each holding an identical briefcase, but one of them is filled with gold.
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Executive:
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What you pitched this idea to anybody else?
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Kenneth:
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Well I talked to moonvest over at CBS.
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Executive:
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Les Moonves, president of CBS, knows about this?
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Kenneth:
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Hey Moonvest, I got an idea for a television game show last night.
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Moonvest:
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Give me your fingernails!
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Kenneth:
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Executive:
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We've got to move fast. Mr. Parcell, we love "Gold case" How do we make your show?
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Kenneth:
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I thought y'all would know where to get cameras and stuff.
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Jack:
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I think he means "how much do you want for it?"
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Kenneth:
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Oh, okay. As far as compensation goes, I would like to be officially the head of the pages, and I need a new clock radio.
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Jack:
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You've got it up there. Now snap it off.
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Kenneth:
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Also, I want 5 points on the back end, 20% gross on merchandising, and a creator credit on this and any international editions. And a clock radio.
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Executive:
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We're a go. Congratulations.
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Kenneth:
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