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Liz:
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Jenna:
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Liz:
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Jenna:
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Oh I'm fine Jenna, I'm just a little light-headed. I'm on a crash diet to get back to my old weight by Friday.
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Liz:
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Well what diet is gonna do that?
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Jenna:
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Oh it's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want, so … [approaches a suit of armor] Hey there. Hi.
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Liz:
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Jenna, this isn't healthy. You know, maybe you're just fighting your natural shape. When did your mom gain all that weight?
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Jenna:
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Liz:
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My point is, don't let people make you crazy about this. You are just as beautiful and talented as you ever were.
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Jack:
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No, no, no, no, you are fat. Now go see Dr. Spaceman right now and get this taken care of.
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Liz:
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How come men can be heavy and be respected, like James Gandolfini or Fat Albert? You know, it’s a double standard and America needs to get over its body image madness.
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Jack:
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Come on, what are we, back in college, freshman year? Let's go to the common room and talk about apartheid.
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Liz:
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Yeah, well, ok I'm sorry if I care about making the world a better place.
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Jack:
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You should be: it's a complete waste of time and it prevents you from dealing with this.
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Liz:
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Excuse me, what about this do I have to deal with?
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Jack:
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How's your love life going?
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Liz:
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I … believe that love comes to you when you're not looking for it.
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Jack:
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Did you return that wedding dress that you bought?
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Liz:
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I'm going to sell it online but my internet is being weird.
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Jack:
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How about the furniture for your home office; have you even set that up yet?
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Liz:
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I'm not making excuses Jack, but this is taken of! Ow! Ah, nerdz! I missed a dentist appointment this morning.
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P.A.:
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Josh to the stage please for Illiana Douglas talk show.
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Jack:
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Son of a bitch! Banks! What are you doing in town? You drawn to the phallic nature of our skyline?
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Devon Banks:
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Very funny, Jack. How gay is this? I'm here visiting my fiancée.
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Jack:
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Devon Banks:
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Kathy, this is Jack Donaghy.
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Jack:
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Banks, have you lost your mind?
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Devon Banks:
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Oh did I forget to mention that Kathy is Kathy Geiss, as in Don Geiss's daughter? Can you believe that Don thought she'd never get married?
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Jack:
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Devon Banks:
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No, not anymore friend. You familiar with the Church of Practicology?
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Jack:
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You mean the cult that was invented by Stan Lee?
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Devon Banks:
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No, I mean the religion founded by the alien king living inside Stan Lee. You see, it's my faith in Practicology that has helped me uncover my true, straight self. It's definitely working. I can totally feel the gay draining right out of me. By the Eye of Zolnak, right guys?
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Jack:
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You're going to be Don Geiss's son-in-law?
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Devon Banks:
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That's right. And if you've read his recent interview in 'The Harvard Gay Business Review', you'll know that he's thinking about retirement. But I guess I'll find out more about that tonight at dinner. With Geiss. At a restaurant.
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