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Jenna:
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Good meeting. [Jenna leaves.]
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Jack:
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So how are things with Carol?
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Liz:
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Good. Did you know that if you're a pilot, that Chilis will seat you right away even if the pilot's dinner companion has just been yelling at the hostess?
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Jack:
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You are the Jackie O of our time.
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Liz:
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And pilot's get all these travel points at Starwind hotels. The one in midtwon has free internet.
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Jack:
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He doesn't stay with you when he's here?
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Liz:
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Why would he? Those Starwinds are nice. I mean the bathtubs are so much cleaner than at home. I don't know how they do it!
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Jack:
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They clean them. You are not in a real relationship Lemon.
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Liz:
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Och, I hate that word relationship. It's almost as bad as climax.
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Jack:
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You can't just do the vacation part. At some point you have to go home to the same house, unpack your dirty laundry and have a life together. Then one of you says, "we should redecorate," and the other one says, "please Avery, I'm using the commode right now."
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Liz:
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Ooh, she wants to redecorate? SHe just moved in?
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Jack:
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Avery, uh, has opinons. I love her for that. Unfortunately, she wants to repaint the upstarirs hallway in a strie faux finish called Husk. I prefer the color that's already there. A reddish brown shade called Elk Tongue.
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Liz:
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So tell her no, it's your house.
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Jack:
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This is how I know you've never had an adult relationship. If I say no, then I will be required to say yes to something else in the future and the stakes in the future might be higher.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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If I give in, I'm no longer the Alpha in my house. Before I know it, she''l have me wearing jeans and reading fiction.
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Liz:
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Yeah well, yes and no are kind of your only two choices.
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Jack:
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For most men, sure. But there is a third option: The Fabian strategy.
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Liz:
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I know this. If an apple and a feather fall at the same time --
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Jack:
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The Fabian strategy derives it's name --
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Liz:
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Jack:
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-- from the Roman general Quintus Fabius Maximus. He ran away Lemon, rather than engage in battle, he would retreat and retreat until the enemy grew fatigued and eventually made a mistake. Though I abhor it as a military strategy, it is the basis for all my, uh, personal relationships.
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Liz:
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So Avery is your enemy. That sounds healthy.
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Jack:
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You're in no position to judge. Meeting someone in a hotel room twice a month is not a relationship, just ask any hooker.
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Liz:
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Och, stop staying relationship. [walks away]
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Jack:
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I'm sorry. I was going to say climax.
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Liz:
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