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Liz:
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Hey buddy! I thought maybe we could have a little talk, girl to girl.
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Jenna:
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Oh sure, I love light chit-chat. Did you hear about how my fecalist murdered by Kabbalahist?
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Liz:
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Wow! … Look, we're inside, you can take off the sunglasses. What are those?
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Jenna:
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Leeches. They're good for your skin, and I've lost tons of blood weight.
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Liz:
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Oh my god! OK, remember the pact we made back in Chicago?
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Jenna:
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Liz, if I become famous, will you tell me if I start acting weird?
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Liz:
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Definitely. And will you do the same for me?
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Jenna:
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Pwahahaha! You? Famous? That's hilarious!
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Liz:
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Well I'm invoking the pact. You're putting leeches on your face!
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Jenna:
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Demi Moore does it, plus it makes PETA furious. And if PETA doesn't love you or hate you, you're a nobody, like a soldier or a teacher.
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Liz:
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Jenna, take off the leeches! I feel like I'm losing you. I mean, we used to get lunch every week. When was the last time we did that?
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Jenna:
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You know with my fecalist in jail, I can eat whatever I want today. Maybe we could go to Outbac--
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Liz:
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I'm going to call ahead and make sure we're in Darryl's section!
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Tracy:
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Who am I? What does it all mean? Will I ever truly be happy?
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Dotcom:
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Tray, I hate seeing you like this, sitting in here listening to your 'Depressed Thoughts' cd.
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Tracy:
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What is the meaning--? [turns off cd player] You remember Celia's Bakery in the Bronx? It was on the corner of Malcolm X Blvd and Guy Who Shot Malcolm X Blvd? When I was a kid, I wanted one of those pies so bad so I swore to myself that one day I would become so rich, I would buy every single pie in Celia's.
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Dotcom:
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I wanted for nothing as a child, but that brings its own challeneges.
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Tracy:
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Shut up Dotcom. And now look at that kid: he turned into an incredibly fit genius who has everything he ever wanted. So if there's no more want, what's the point in living?
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Dotcom:
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Wait, hold on, Tray. You've got a family.
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Tracy:
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Great! Another thing that I've already got. Thank you for making this situation worse!
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Liz:
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Jenna:
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Hahahaha! Should we get another one?
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Liz:
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If you eat four, you get a t-shirt, so one more and that's two t-shirts.
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Jenna:
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Liz:
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And you don't want the paparazzi taking pictures of you?
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Jenna:
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Not when I'm just trying to have lunch with my best friend like a normal person. It's like I'm in a cage and not the fun kind where you dance while UFC football recruits throw hot coins at you.
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Liz:
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I'm sorry, do you want to sneak out the back?
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Jenna:
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They'd be expecting that. Would you like a chance to be famous, Liz?
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Liz:
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Naturally. Always. I'm from Tampa, Florida.
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Man:
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Jenna:
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Nice try PETA bitches but I saw you hiding in the crowd! You just threw paint on a nobody who can't even sing! Make sure you get the Outback sign in the shot or I don't get paid. Taxi!
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