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Liz:
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Hey Jack. Sorry I'm so late.
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Jack:
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You're not. I changed the clock on your phone. I just got here.
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Liz:
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Anyway, I really appreciate you coming to my neighborhood, my "home turf", if you will. I see. Well played, Jack.
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Jack:
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You anticipated my countermove, employing a '"shortness is weakness" power axiom. However, I knew that you might know that I knew to bring my own furniture, so I also brought my Jack Welch power pillow. I'm very sorry, sir.
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Liz:
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I thought you might do that, which is why I'm going to be the first person to do power quiet-talking, forcing you to lean in and wonder if you're missing any key phrases … like an idiot.
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Jack:
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I thought you'd try power quiet-talking which is why I'm wearing a hearing aid. Still me. I'm everything I hoped I'd be. Let's begin: 2% raise, a show on Christmas, no gross merchandising, and you have a run in your stocking.
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Liz:
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8% raise, two weeks off at Christmas, 5 gross, and, nice try, I'm not wearing stockings--that's a vein.
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Jack:
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No raise, no vacation, and from now on, you have to say "Go for Liz" when you answer your phone.
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Come on, Lemon. I'm just doing the sorcerer's apprentice. You respond with a pirate holiday, and I have no choice but to play the hillbilly auction. it's all in the tapes!
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Aw, forget it, this is taking too long. I'll do both sides. If you think I won't do the show without Lemon, think again. / Oh Jack, you're bluffing. / Liz, we're out of here. / If you walk out that door, you'll burn every bridge she has here. It'll be back to submitting topical menopause jokes to Joy Behar by fax. / Oh please, you'd be in breach. You'd have more lawyers on you than a mid-town hooker. / You're all talk. / It's like that time you said you'd hit on Carla Bruni in front of Sarkozy and you totally backed down! / So did you! / Sorry, I have to take this. Hello? / It's me. Nice try. / I'm writing down a number. / Ahah! You're dreaming! And I counter. I reject that. Then an elegante. Parry with a elegante primo. 5%. I demand 3 years. No, that can't be right: elegante, elegante primo, carry the one ... good god!
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Liz:
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Jack:
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Liz:
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Jack:
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You got everything you wanted. Kabletown-Jack made a mistake and Lemon-Jack pounced on it! I-me lost!
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Liz:
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Yes! I won! Nobody beats the Liz! Oh sorry. In your face!
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Kenneth:
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Mr. Hornberger, I got the message about the goodbye Kenneth brunch. I can't tell you how touched I--
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Pete:
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Yeah, that was lie, but look who's here!
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Tracy:
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Double actor announcement!
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Jenna:
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Double actor announcement! Over the years, we've wasted a lot of time complaining about things other than what's really bothering us. From now on, Tracy and I are going to be more honest.
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Tracy:
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Instead of just throwing tantrums, we're going to talk things though. Who's that lady? It's her fault that it's cold in here!
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Jenna:
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Tracy, be honest. It's not about the air conditioning, is it?
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Tracy:
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OK. It's just that I see a new page and I'm not used to change because I was raised in foster care.
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Pete:
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Sounds like Tracy's missing someone.
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Kenneth:
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He's missing me! Boy, you are dumb sometimes.
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Pete:
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Tracy, this new page is Hazel, Kenneth's replacement. Kenneth wants to leave the page program so he can go make more money but you need him here, don't you?
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Tracy:
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Yes, I do need you Kenneth, I depend on you. But I'm telling you to go because, now that I'm being honest, this job is a dead end for you. And it would be selfish of me to make you stay.
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Kenneth:
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Tracy:
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Yes. Now go. Run Kenneth. Run before I change my mind. Run Kenneth! Run!
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