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Position
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Name
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Quote
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1
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Toofer
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Ooh, and get them to pay for my samovar.
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2
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Toofer
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5.
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3
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Toofer
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Frank, there are large pockets of African-American culture that Caucasians know nothing about. The stigma of drag is one of them.
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4
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Toofer
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Uh-huh. I got a concept for a sketch I think you might like. You and Jenna play Sleestaks from Land of the Lost. And you’re trying to get a small business loan,
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5
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Toofer
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Look, I'm not trying to cause any trouble, and I confess, I appreciate what you do for the show. I want to be to my brother, my homeboy, my n--
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6
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Toofer
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Okay, he's right. This is funnier.
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7
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Toofer
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Was the Air Force like Top Gun?
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8
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Toofer
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Uh.. one day.
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9
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Toofer
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You will not believe what just happened to me. A guy on the subway just called me a ''biggledeeboo''.
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10
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Toofer
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Then why are my paychecks a different color than Frank's?
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11
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Toofer
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Liz has invited me back as a budgeted employee. Apparently, I'm the only one among us who can spell.
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12
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Toofer
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Okay, fine, fine. Toofer. I'll just go back to Toofer.
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13
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Toofer
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So they have all kinds of weird rituals and rules. Like, if someone says ''Twig and Plums'' in front of a member, he has to find an excuse to leave the room, no matter what he's doing.
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14
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Toofer
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You know, I went to college in Boston. Well, not in Boston, but nearby. No, not Tufts.
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15
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Toofer
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Harvard.
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16
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Toofer
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Well here's your article: "Why Does TGS Love Women?"
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17
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Toofer
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But my biggest problem with Quidditch is if the snitch is 150 points, why does anyone bother with the quaffle?
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18
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Toofer
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Yeah.
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19
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Toofer
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Lynn Onkman. Remember her?
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20
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Toofer
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Actually I'm off, Liz. With my degree I can always go into architecture or medical nanotechnology...
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21
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Toofer
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Sorry, I don't understand. Oh I see. Uh, at Harvard we call them "concentrations."
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22
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Toofer
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Hm, thank you. As Tennyson wrote, ''I mete and dole...''
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23
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Toofer
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Okay, have a good night, Liz.
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24
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Toofer
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You look exactly like Liz.
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25
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Toofer
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We have a gentleman's agreement. He gets the jars, and in return, he's agreed to let a Yale sweatshirt be our designated fart dampener.
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