Lutz's Top 20 Quotes

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1 Lutz She's real. Would a fake woman have a personal website at
2 Lutz Hey, we're all going to Chuck E. Cheese's. It's divorced, Hispanic mom night.
3 Lutz What about the purse and sweater?
4 Lutz It's not what you think! It's something I need to wear to support my breasts!
5 Lutz But it's my turn to pick. I'm the picker.
6 Lutz Mm-hm.
7 Lutz That a man can have up to nine wives if two of them are male.
8 Lutz What, this? I got hit by a bird on a roller coaster.
9 Lutz I told them not to. Let's get out of here, Jack.
10 Lutz The Shell by me has good hot dogs.
11 Lutz It has two. And it has flames on the side.
12 Lutz Dingleberries.
13 Lutz On your wedding night did he take you in the French fashion?
14 Lutz I almost touched that blue wire. I could have died. I'm gonna tell Sharon I love her. I don't care if we're cousins!
15 Lutz [in meeting with Jack] What if there was a channel that's just the sounds of people having a party so you could put it on when you call your parents.
16 Lutz What is this green stuff? [holds lobster it out to Jack] Wipe it off! Wipe it off!
17 Lutz I renounce Verdukianism!
18 Lutz Oh, right. It's actually pretty small. I could only take three of you. So I'll... have to choose. That sucks. It's like a reality show where you guys get to compete for a seat in my car by proving how much you like me.
19 Lutz Hey, I thought you were gonna bring snickerdoodles in, That's the only reason I showed up.
20 Lutz Yeah, that's a good start.